Before you read, please click picture to see the overall perspective of this article.
Probably, you have seen the picture once or many times, and still find yourself laughing at it with disbelief because you don’t think that there is such a person in the world who waits for the perfect person.
Personally, I have seen the picture many times on Facebook, and each time I see it, I always have some kinds of doubts. So, in this article, I would like to clarify these doubts or create some good questions for you to think. (Before you read on, I want you to look at the photo again if we share the same doubts which will be talked about in this article.)
What does the perfect person mean?
Supposed you were in an age to look for a life partner, like whom would your perfect person look? What would s/he have? Would s/he be tall, short, black, white, brown, etc? Would they come from a rich, average or poor family? Would s/he be required to have an IQ score over 120?
It’s hard to answer, right? I do realize this difficulty because no dictionary has ever defined ‘the perfect person’, and the definition itself is so subjective and varies according to preferences, circumstances, times, and etc. For instance, when I was young, I thought my perfect person would be some movie stars or singers. But, the more matured I grow, the more I realize that beauty is not the only factor in deciding who my perfect woman is.
Because the definition is not fixed, doesn’t it occur to you that it can’t be applied to the state of perfection? Plus, can one extra-good or perfect aspect of life overshadow other bad points?
Is having a list of criteria good?
In love, I really have no specific answer whether a list of criteria is good. But, based on my professional experience, criteria are made to select a person that is able to do things they are supposed to do or have things they are supposed to have. For jobs, I guess such criteria can be used because work is more to do with science and logic rather than art and emotion like love.
So can we use such a yardstick for matters like love? Is having such a list of criteria good for love? How can we develop a list of criteria that really can distinguish one person from another?
Is it something that draws the right person closer to us or that chases the right person away? For example, even though a person wants to be close to you, s/he simply goes away if they instinctively know that you have a list of requirements or that you demand too much from them as a person.
Actually, if we discuss this matter more deeply, we all have a list of criteria for people with whom we want to be. Yet, the question is how strict we are in using the list. Will you ever accept anyone who meets all except one criterion of yours?
Is it good to wait?
In relationship, I don’t really like much the idea of waiting because it simply shows the passive side of the person.
Why do we have to wait? Instead of waiting to be chosen, why can’t we go out to find the right person? Why don’t most of us prefer to be in a position of the chooser than the chosen?
Also, instead of waiting for the perfect person so that we can start everything refreshingly new with him/her, why can’t we hit the road and start with someone who can make us feel happy and warm now?
It’s said that learning is a process, not a destination. Personally, I find that relationship is also a process. This implies that one’s got to make some mistakes while staying in the process. Some people are lucky that they make or meet with few mistakes, but some aren’t because they make countless mistakes before they can find the right answer.
It’s also said that one needs to remove lots of dirt in order to find gold. Can this logic be applied to relationship and the fact that we have to get involved in finding the right person by dating with many people and dumping them later once we realize they are not the right person?
In conclusion, as I mentioned from the beginning, I write this article just to express my doubts, thus having no specific answer for any of the questions I’ve raised. So, you can give your own answers.